We all have a time or two (or eight) when we wonder did we do enough? Did we do enough for a friend, for our job, or for our family?
This question plagued me most when my daughter was young and I received my diagnosis of Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD). As I tried to wrap my head around the reality of having RSD, my self-pity morphed into feeling sorry for my daughter. I hated all the hospital stays which took me away from her. How would this affect her later on? Thoughts of what I wouldn’t be able to do for/with her made my head spin. What would my limitations mean to her?
Shortly after my diagnosis, my daughter started preschool. I was the only mom with a cane. I felt extremely self-conscious. The worst feeling though was the exhaustion from the pain. I dreaded that I wouldn’t be able to do what the other moms did. Now, I really had no idea what other moms did because this was only the first day-but did that fact stop me from worrying? I think you know the answer to that.
My anxiety motivated me to push through painful physical therapy. I learned to rest when she wasn’t home even if I really couldn’t stand to see the dishes in the sink or the balls of fur on the carpet (I swear my chocolate lab sheds enough fur to make 10 more labs in a month). My energy needed to be reserved for my daughter and my husband. But being the Type- A person I am, I wondered if that still was enough.
When working on a rough draft, I want my character to desire something so badly she has to find the will to fight for it. She needs to know or discover her strengths and how to use them. She has to overcome her weaknesses. When an obstacle threatens to derail her and she is about to give up, I want the character to wonder did I do enough-is there more I can do? Because of these questions, the last chapters reveal her success in obtaining what she desperately yearned to possess or that she discovered something better. I want her question of ‘Did I do enough?’ answered with a resounding yes!
In my life I know there are certain situations where I may never know if I did enough. But this week, when I doubted myself most, God blessed me with a glimpse of an answer to that very question.
My daughter will be running in the Second Annual Charlotte FIGHT THE FLAME 5k for RSD on November 2nd. She set up a fundraising page on First Giving. On this site she wrote a paragraph about why she wants to run this race. I would like to share a few sentences from her page: “I would sometimes forget that not all moms walk with a cane or couldn’t always take their kids places or could only stay out of the house for so long, especially when the weather was cold and rainy. I thought my mom was just like any other mom…… I never knew just how much effort my mom put into just trying to seem as normal as possible. I had no idea just how strong she is. My mother is the strongest woman I know.”
If I never hear another word of praise directed at me again in my life this would be ENOUGH.
I would love to hear your moments when you caught a glimpse of the answer to your question-if you did enough.
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