Homeward Bound

Bittersweet yet blessed describes my trip back to my hometown in Rhode Island for my dad’s memorial service earlier this month. I’ve been reading a lot about letting go in order to receive. I finally had to let go of my anxiety about traveling as well as letting go of the vice like grip I had on avoiding my feelings of grief. Grief not only in missing my father, or at realizing I’m an orphan, but also mourning my wishes that the relationship with him went differently after my mom passed away. I needed to let go of the anger that things didn’t go the way I planned/hoped. Once I loosened that grip (I still have a hold on it, just not as tight, but it’s a first step), I could begin to receive the comfort from my memories.

One way I indulged in these memories- visiting special, nostalgic places that my daughter and I associated with my parents. My husband patiently drove us to each one. Thankfully RI is a small state. 😊 I realized two things: 1. That visiting these places, didn’t make me sadder, but actually gave me a sense of contentment by reliving the happiness of being there with my mom and dad, and I could talk about these memories with my husband and daughter. I could allow these feelings associated with the memories of my parents to be forever imprinted in my heart. 2. A lot of these places involved food. Come to whatever conclusion you wish with that. 😊

A must have for me when in RI -NY style wieners(oddly enough never ate one in NYC)

I found joy in visiting the same grocery store (Stop and Shop for you New Englanders out there), that we shopped at many times with my parents. One special purchase there was Social Tea Biscuits (ones that we cannot find down south), which my mom always had in a crystal container on the kitchen table. Somehow physically purchasing them there to bring home, made them taste even better than when someone would be kind enough to send them to us. Now not everywhere we wanted to go involved just food. One place we had to visit was family owned Wrights Farm Dairy and Bakery-okay, it had decadent baked goodies, but there is more. My parents took me there when I was a child and I loved the greeting from the dairy’s mascot at the time, a friendly St Bernard. When Sara came along, they would take her there no matter what season, not just to buy the sweets and fresh chocolate milk, but to visit the cows (her favorite animal as a child) that provided the delicious milk. Going there was always a happy event, that just happen to end with yummy treats!

We also visited Newport, where my husband and I had taken many beach trips while we were dating. We also brought my parents there on day trips, many years ago we found out we were pregnant during a long weekend visit there, and once we had our daughter, we’d drive there, pick up a pizza (you knew food had to be involved somewhere), and sit in back of our station wagon facing the ocean and enjoying the sunset at Breton Point Park.

The family and friends that were with us at the memorial service, made a very difficult day easier because they filled it with love. Everyone at the service had known my parents for a very long time, so they could share special memories of both of them as well. I truly felt my parents being with us every step of our trip. All the anxious and fearful feelings I had about writing a eulogy for my father, how my body would or would not hold up during the trip, were replaced with a sense that I could let healing begin.

Military Honors for my Dad at the funeral home.

Military Honors for my Dad at the funeral home.

Of all the places we visited, there was one I could not even drive by-the house that I grew up in, that Sara spent most of her childhood visiting. Interestingly enough, it was right around the corner from the funeral home where we had the memorial service. Although I found it oddly comforting to know my parents’ home was nearby, I just didn’t think I could have handled seeing different cars in the driveway or different people living there. I just wanted to remember my mom at the front door holding their pet Shih-Tzu, Fuji, while waving goodbye with his paw. And to remember my dad in the driveway waving both hands and smiling at us, but especially at my daughter until our car turned the corner.

So, by letting go and leaning on the Lord, the love of my family, and friends (also now family) in RI, I gained the energy to push through, take in the moments, let the memories come and the inevitable tears fall. By letting the feeling of their love overtake any feeling of anxiety, anger, or guilt, I left RI feeling wrapped in a blanket of peace and contentment.

Last pic on way to airport (stopping for lunch,of course, in Wickford)

Returning home, I realized it will still take a while to heal physically and emotionally from this trip. I’m still on my grief journey, but I have taken more steps down this road and now know that I do not have to travel it alone. It’s okay to talk about the memories, and not hold it inside or worse, push them away.

**Three Extra Items(Most important is Number 3)**

1. While I was in Rhode Island I had the opportunity to be interviewed for a Center for Arms Control and Non-Proliferation podcast and was very grateful that they posted it on August 6th which is a very important day for me to honor my mom, my family, and all the atomic bomb victims of Hiroshima(and Nagasaki on August 9th).

2. This month of August happens to be the third anniversary of THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM being published!!! So, to celebrate I am holding a Rafflecopter Giveaway of a signed copy of TLCB and all this adorable swag pictured here along with a 45-minute Skype visit to a classroom for two winners that will be picked at random on September 1, 2019.

You can enter at this link:
a Rafflecopter giveaway

3 I’m a little behind from traveling, but I do want to thank all of the people who have read my blog, TLCB, interviewed or invited me to speak, blogged about TLCB as well as all the teachers and librarians that have used TLCB. Because without all of you, my mother’s and atomic bomb victims’ stories would not be getting out there to our future voters. Thank you for helping me find and to be proud of my voice. ❤ 

Also sharing this post at Welcome Heart

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Reflections and Changing Seasons

This month has been very reflective for me in many ways. August 1st was my daughter’s first full day home from Japan after 4 months of attending Tokyo International University. Even though she needed to catch up on her sleep-just knowing she slept in her own bed under our roof comforted me and I could finally exhale.

Sara in front of A-Bomb mother Ginkgo tree in Shukkei-en Gardens

Sara in front of the Osaka Castle

However, my heart may have been happy, but my body was not. Increased pain in my left leg returned (surgeon said this might happen because the stent couldn’t fully open the vein) along with worsening osteoarthritis in my left hand. So, when Sara moved back to UNCW for her senior year (EEK! It doesn’t seem that long ago when I moved back to Stonehill for my senior year…) I had to give in to my pain and remain at home. I, of course, did the only thing I thought would help me almost as much as prayer-yup, I made some crispy rice treats to bring to my pity party of one. 🙂

I saved my reflection of August 6th for last. The memories of what my mom and my family went through on that day, as well as the years that followed live in my mind and weigh on my heart.  So, in closing, I’d like to share my guest post,Changing Seasons, I wrote for MG Book Village about my mom and her memories here

I’m also sharing this post at:

TLCB BLOOMING ANNIVERSARY TOUR

So for the first(and most likely the last) time, here is my second post in one week as promised.

Happy GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

One year ago, today, THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM bloomed! I remember the excitement that bubbled inside me when I spotted the book that had my name on it at Main Street Books, in Davidson, NC on that day! (Happy squeal!!)

After fawning over my books on the shelf and taking many pictures, I had just stepped outside when a wonderful moment of serendipity happened. A man came in wanting to pick up a book that his daughter pre-ordered and it was MY book!!!

It was a surreal, incredible moment that I shared with my husband and daughter. The only one missing was my mom. I like to think that she and her family were celebrating with us in spirit that afternoon.

To this day my stomach does the same happy flip-flop whenever I see it on a bookstore or library shelf. THAT feeling will never get old 😊

Party GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

So, to celebrate this milestone, I have a Rafflecopter giveaway(link at the bottom of this post) that starts today! It will run through August 31st . Two winners will be chosen at random by Rafflecopter. The goodies that I’m giving away to each winner are: a signed copy of THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM. TLCB silk fan, TLCB notebook, TLCB lip gloss, magnet, and cherry blossom origami paper.

TLCB & Beautiful Blooming Swag

I’m honored that these fantastic blogs and podcasts will be featuring THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM throughout the month of August, please visit if you can:

August 1st    Interview on WPFW Pacifica Radio Network, w/host Dave Rabin on Community Watch & Comment
August 3rd   Darlene Beck Jacobson’s blog
August 6th   Interview on Reading With Your Kids Podcast with host, Jed Doherty

August 7th    Kathy Temean’s Blog Writing and Illustrating
August 12th  Smack Dab in the Middle Blog
August 21st  Guest post on Carol Baldwin’s Blog
August 28th The Kidlit Exchange blog

As I mentioned in my last blog post, as excited as I am for TLCB’s Anniversary, the most important August date for me is August 6th. I’ll be honoring the memory of my mom, her family, all the victims who died, were injured, and those that are victims to their chilling memories from that day, in a special celebration September 30th. All I can say right now is that I will be bringing a piece of Hiroshima to North Carolina. More information in a future post.

My mom gave me life, brought me up with love, gave my daughter the same love(probably more 🙂 ), and entrusted me with the memories (some sweet, some horrific) from her heart. As a daughter, I can’t ask for anything more than that. I’m so very grateful I was blessed with her as my mom. ❤

Thank you to my husband, daughter, friends, family, reviewers, librarians, teachers, fellow authors, and all the readers for your encouragement for and support of THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM! This Blooming Anniversary tour wouldn’t be possible without all of you as well! 😊

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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MEMORABLE FIRST DATES

Two years ago, on July 15th, we visited Hiroshima for the very first time. I remember that we had our first dinner in the ryokan (traditional Japanese inn) that night and we toasted my beloved Godfather, Roger (the one who taught me to laugh through my pain who passed away in January 2014) because it was his birthday. And we of course, toasted my mom (it also happened to be exactly 6 months since she had passed away).

We have beautiful memories-visiting the same shrine my mom visited when she was a little girl-seeing the beauty of where she grew up as she would describe it before the last year of the war. There were some bittersweet moments as well- standing in front of the cenotaph where the names of all the people who were in Hiroshima that day are written after they pass away, knowing hers would now be listed there along with her Papa.

 

(Hiroshima Bay 7/15/15 Kathleen Burkinshaw)

(Cenotaph Hiroshima Peace Park, Kathleen Burkinshaw)

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now in that same month two years later, on July 7th, 122 countries in the United Nations historically voted on adopting a Treaty to Ban Nuclear Weapons. And yes, the main countries who have nuclear weapons (U.S. and Russia being two of them) were not at the meeting and are not planning to sign it any time soon.  Neither was Japan. However, Japan will be holding a meeting on nuclear disarmament later in the year and are inviting experts from both nuclear and non-nuclear nations to rebuild trust between them. But every journey begins with taking a first step.

I was invited to celebrate this first step last Thursday, at the Sowing Seeds of Peace meeting hosted by the Western Carolina region of Physicians for Social Responsibility(WNCPSR) and Nuclear Information and Resource Service(NIRS) in Asheville NC. It was an honor to discuss my mom’s experience in Hiroshima on 8/6/45, with a room full of people who have fought and continue to fight diligently for the abolishment of nuclear weapons (including State Representative for Buncombe County, Susan Fisher).  It was so interesting to hear from people who marched in the June New York City Woman’s March to Ban the Bomb (in the pouring rain) discuss their dedication to this cause.

In addition, people who were at the United Nations(UN) and spoke at the various side sessions also presented.  One speaker was Mary Olson (a staff biologist at NIRS). The UN cited her paper GENDER AND RADIATION, (that discussed how women are more at risk from radiation than men) as one of the reasons for this Treaty. Dr. Terry Clark (Chairperson of WNCPRS) closed the meeting with a glass of sparkling grape juice and a toast, “To the Treaty which works against passivity and brings a sense of hope.” I truly believe my mom would be filled with hope, knowing that this first step(albeit, of many) has been taken.

 

Speaking of firsts……August 2nd is the First anniversary of THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM(TLCB) being published-Woohoo!! Who knew how fast time would go and that in the first four months it would go through 3 print runs and in the last 8 months be on school summer reading lists, read by students in Australia, and a Finalist for SCBWI Crystal Kite Award(Southeast region)?! I’m so grateful to everyone who made these events possible!😊

To celebrate this First anniversary, I’m doing a GIVEAWAY!! It will start on August 2nd and end on August 31st.  A link to the Rafflecopter giveaway, info on surprises, list of blogs and podcast that will be hosting me for the TLCB Blooming Anniversary Tour will be in my blog post Wednesday, August 2nd. Which will also be a first for me-having 2 blog posts in one week! 🙂

As exciting as all that is, the most important date in August for me is still August 6th. A day that never escaped my mom’s memory, a day that caused horrible nightmares, a day that her world ignited, and her childhood went up in smoke. And yet, she persevered, found her way to love, and realized she still had a reason to live.

I still can picture my mom sitting in the dining room of the home I grew up in with her treasured picture of her and her Papa prominently displayed when I first began to write down her childhood memories. The dining room was her favorite room.  A large picture window let in the afternoon sun and she loved the way it made the goldenrod color of the walls glow. She also insisted on feeding you when you visited-so if you were at the dining room table she knew you would eat and that made her happy. That day was no different, and I had to move plates of fruit, cheese curls, eclairs, and Social Tea Cookies so that I could have space for my notebook to write-now this was just for an afternoon snack-so you can imagine what the table looked like at an actual meal (&those of you who knew my mom, know I’m not exaggerating)! 😊

She stopped in the middle of her story, and told me that she finally understood why she survived that day. She survived so that her Papa and all the people she lost wouldn’t be forgotten (she never mentioned herself).  She wasn’t the one to tell the story, but God blessed her with someone who would be brave enough to do it. I cried when she said it then and am crying now as I write this post.

But to me, my mom was the brave one. She decided to take that first step toward her new life (and to those that have read TLCB, you know where that first step led her).

I hope that she is smiling in heaven- happy that her Papa, the people she loved, (and yes, mom, you too), will be remembered; not only by friends and loved ones, but even by people all over the world!

This year marks the 72nd anniversary of the atomic bombing in Hiroshima (and Nagasaki on the ninth). Unfortunately, due to health issues, I was unable to schedule anything to commemorate the actual day of August 6th.  However, a very special memorial celebration will be held on September 30th, that I will talk about in more detail at the end of August.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also sharing at:

DiverseKidLit

Bringing Historical Fiction to the Modern Classroom

waddell

Please enjoy my recent guest blog post on KIDLITERATI Blog by clicking on the title below:

Reaching Readers Guest Post with Kathleen Burkinshaw

Today we’re fortunate to have debut middle grade author Kathleen Burkinshaw with us to discuss how she brings historical fiction to the modern classroom. Enjoy…click to continue

SPRING HAS SPRUNG AND SO HAS MY COVER REVEAL!

(Insert drum roll ….. and a loud WOOHOO!!!)

I am excited to share with you THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM Cover Reveal, which the fabulous blog iceybooks.com posted along with my interview AND a chance to win an Advanced Reading Copy of THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM!! 🙂  So please follow the link and enter the Giveaway on the iceybooks.com site!

Q&A with Kathleen Burkinshaw, Author of THE LAST CHERRY BLOSSOM—Plus Giveaway!